ADHD Therapy
Late Diagnosis, Identity & Shame
Carly Stanton, LPC, MT-BC
Maybe you're not "just lazy."
Maybe there was another explanation.
Maybe you've always felt like you had to work twice as hard just to keep up. You got things done, but often at a cost no one else could see. Last-minute panic. All-nighters. Constant procrastination followed by constant self-criticism. From the outside, people saw the grades, the job, or the finished project. They didn't see everything it took to get there.
Instead of wondering why everything felt so hard, you probably assumed something was wrong with you.
What if there was another explanation?
Does any of this sound familiar?
Maybe you've always been smart and capable.
You get things done, but often at a cost no one else can see. Last-minute panic. Constant procrastination followed by constant self-criticism. Feeling like you're always working twice as hard just to keep up.
Maybe you've spent years wondering why everyday things seem harder for you than they do for everyone else. Instead of asking whether there might be another explanation, you've been asking yourself, "What's wrong with me?"
If any of these sound familiar, you're not alone:
Wondering why it's so hard to start tasks, even when you genuinely want to do them.
You know exactly what needs to get done. Getting yourself to actually start is the hard part.
Constantly forgetting things, even after reminding yourself over and over.
Returning a text, making a phone call, or replying to an email feels harder than it "should." The longer you wait, the more shame starts to pile up.
Loving the exciting parts of a project but feeling completely stuck once the tedious parts begin.
Feeling like your mind rarely slows down or like you always need to be doing something to stay focused.
Wondering why criticism or rejection seems to affect you so much more than it does other people.
Feeling exhausted from working twice as hard just to keep up.
Thinking, "Why haven't I figured this out by now?"
Finally wondering whether there might be another explanation for what you've been experiencing all along.
Therapy with me isn't just about getting more organized.
Learning how to use a planner or finding the perfect productivity system can be helpful. But that's not the heart of our work together.
We'll work to understand how your brain works, untangle years of shame and self-criticism, and figure out what actually helps. My hope is that you leave therapy with more self-compassion, practical tools that actually fit your life, and a better understanding of how to work with your brain instead of constantly fighting against it.
Therapeutic Techniques I Use
My approach to ADHD therapy uses a blend of evidence-based practices that I tailor to each person. Here are a few of the approaches we might use together.
Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) helps you stop fighting with yourself and respond with more flexibility and self-compassion. We’ll focus less on what you “should” be doing and more on building a life that actually works for you.
Understanding Executive Functioning helps make sense of why things like starting tasks, planning, remembering, and following through can feel so much harder than they “should.” Understanding your brain gives us a better place to start.
Practical ADHD Strategies help you find tools that actually work in your real life. We’ll experiment with ways to manage procrastination, overwhelm, forgetfulness, and everyday tasks—without expecting you to do things the way everyone else does.
How Therapy With Me
Can Help You Work
With Your Brain
My clients report:
Feeling seen, heard, and understood.
Understanding why things have always felt harder.
Realizing they're not lazy, failing, or "bad at being an adult."
Being kinder to themselves instead of constantly criticizing themselves.
Feeling less shame, guilt, and self-blame.
Stopping measuring their worth by how productive they are.
Using practical tools that make everyday life feel a little easier.
Feeling more organized and having fewer things fall through the cracks.
Building stronger relationships by understanding themselves with more compassion.
Realizing they've been trying a lot harder than they've ever given themselves credit for.
The goal isn't to become a different person. It's to stop fighting yourself long enough to see that there was never anything wrong with who you are.
About Carly Stanton,
LPC, MT-BC
Hi, I'm Carly!
I've worked with many adults who spent years believing they were lazy, irresponsible, or just "bad at adulting." Then I'd watch what happened when they finally had a framework that actually fit their experience. Instead of asking, "Why can't I just do what everyone else seems to do?" they started asking, "What if there was another explanation?"
That's a big part of why I'm so passionate about this work. My hope isn't just that therapy helps you manage ADHD symptoms. It's that you stop seeing yourself as lazy, scattered, or a failure. I want you to understand how your brain actually works so you can stop fighting yourself and start working with yourself.
I'm honest, engaged, and warm. I'll let you know what I'm thinking and noticing instead of leaving you wondering what's going on in my head. We'll figure it out together. There will probably be laughter too, because I think humor can be a really important part of healing.
Outside of Therapy
Outside of therapy, you'll usually find me hanging out with my two cats, Moo Moo and Magnum, playing board games or video games. When my vertigo decides to cooperate, I love scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. One of my favorite parts of living in Costa Rica is waking up to the sound of the howler monkeys outside my home and watching the mama monkeys with their babies hanging onto them as they move through the trees. I'm also a huge fan of improv comedy and am still hoping to find, or maybe even start, a group here in Costa Rica.
Education, Credentials, & Trainings
Master's Degree in Music Therapy
Bachelor's Degree in Psychology
Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC)
Board-Certified Music Therapist (MT-BC)
13+ years of experience across inpatient psychiatry,
crisis intervention, PHP, IOP, outpatient therapy,
group therapy, and private practice.
Therapy FAQs
-
No. You don't need an official ADHD diagnosis to start therapy. If you're wondering whether ADHD might explain some of what you've been experiencing, we can absolutely explore that together.
Sometimes, if it would be helpful, we'll complete the Adult ADHD Self-Report Scale (ASRS v1.1) together. It's a well-established screening questionnaire that can help us better understand your symptoms, although it's not the same as formal psychological testing. I don't provide diagnostic testing myself, but even if ADHD isn't the whole picture, we can still work on the executive functioning challenges, overwhelm, and self-criticism that brought you here.
-
Yes. I know how hard it is to carry that belief around for years.
One of the biggest shifts I see is when people finally realize there was an explanation for why things have always felt harder. That doesn't magically solve everything overnight, but it often takes away so much of the shame. From there, we can work through the self-criticism, build practical skills, and find strategies that actually work with your brain instead of constantly fighting against it.
-
This is therapy, not ADHD coaching. That said, we'll absolutely talk about practical strategies and executive functioning skills when they're helpful. Understanding what's been going on all this time is often the first step. From there, we can work through the shame and self-criticism while also finding tools and strategies that make everyday life a little easier.
-
Honestly... bring it all.
ADHD is just one part of who you are, and it's only one of my specialties. Many of the people I work with are also dealing with anxiety, depression, relationship challenges, trauma, identity questions, perfectionism, or major life transitions. We don't have to pick just one thing to work on. We'll focus on whatever feels most important to you.
Get Started in 4 Steps
-
Fill out the free consultation form and tell me a little about what’s bringing you to therapy. I’ll get back to you within one business day to schedule a time to talk.
-
This is a chance for us to get to know each other. You can ask any questions you have, tell me a little about what’s been going on, and together we’ll see if we’re a good fit.
-
If we decide to work together, we’ll schedule your first full session. We’ll spend some time getting to know your background, what shaped you, and what’s bringing you to therapy now. From there, we’ll figure out what you want to work on together.
-
From there, every session looks a little different because every week of life is different. Sometimes we’ll process what’s happening right now. Other times we’ll explore patterns that have been with you for years, make sense of experiences that still affect you today, or work toward new goals. We’ll keep building on what we learn together.
You Don’t Have To Do This Alone Anymore
If any of this resonated with you, I'd love to connect.